Welcome to our final edition of Bathurst City Life.
That’s right – our final edition.
This is not by choice I might add. You see according to a host of conservative crackpots in the United States, who apparently have never seen an eclipse before, the world is due to end on 21 August.
Yep, another rapture.
Now I have lived through my fair share of apocalyptic predictions in recent years. There was the Rapture of 21 May, 2011, or 21 October 2013 – but this one is meant to be different.
Why? Because Donald Trump said so!
That’s right a host of The Don’s spiritual advisers have taken to Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat and any other social media to predict the eclipse as being the apocalypse for mankind…again.
So in the light of the fact I am going to die in four days time, you won’t see me around too much this week, I will be out ticking these items off my bucket list:
1. Go to stuntman school and jump off a tall building
2. Provide Barnaby Joyce with his Australian working tourist visa
3. Publish the word “nonversation” in a legitimate article in this week’s edition
4. Buy that $10,000 mountain bike that I promised my wife I might “win” in the bike shop raffle
5. Ski top to bottom at Thredbo with my kids
6. Have a candlelit dinner and a bottle of GH Mumm with the bride
7. Sleep in
8. Enjoy a breakfast bacon, eggs and mushrooms on Turkish with a pink journey and a ‘Hot Sweet” at Sweet Caramel
9. Ride my bike every day
10. Remember to register to vote yes for marriage equality in the upcoming plebiscite and
11. Plan our edition for 24 August, because seriously, who believes in this rubbish?
So no, don’t stress – there will be a paper next week.
How could we not love continuing to bring you Bathurst City Life on a Thursday? With one eye on the sky on next Tuesday mind you.